I am – Hercules!!

Some notes on Buffy: Season Eight #13, “Wolves at the Gate Part II,” script credited to TV vet Drew Goddard (“Buffy,” “Angel,” “Alias,” “Lost,” “Cloverfield”):

* A sequel to both the fifth-season opener, “Buffy Vs. Dracula,” AND a Goddard-scripted component of the Joss Whedon-supervised “Tales of the Vampires” collection, this new issue pleases me more than either prequel, which is saying something.

* We learn Dracula’s many powers include motorbiking and speed-cosmetology.

* There are many scenes featuring Drac, Renee (Xander's new favorite slayer) and a very antsy Xander. All are very gay and hilarious.

* Like many another really old guy, Dracula is not much at all for the political correctness, which makes for fabulous comedy.

* Andrew gives the slayers a lecture about Dracula. Also hilarious.

* We learn Buffy Inc. is so gigantic Ms. Summers still hasn’t met all the slayers in her employ.

* No gigantic Dawn this month, by the way, though Buffy’s plane looks big enough to ferry something Dawn-size. (Which would neatly explain the issue-14 “Godzilla” homage on the letters page.)

* Willow’s reaction to Buffy’s romantic encounter is interesting. Also hilarious. Joss, if you’re reading, Willow and Buffy sleeping together is not something I want; it’s something I need. Maybe something I need filmed.






BONUS!! HERC’S AICN COMICS ANNEX!!

We can’t call now the “golden age” of comics because the 1940s stole the name and won’t give it back – but make no mistake: This is a golden age of comics. Non-“Buffy” funnybook stuff I’m quite keen on:

“Kick-Ass” is about a skinny nerd who gets the shit kicked out of him when he puts on a superhero costume and decides to play Batman in bad neighborhoods. Issue two came out today and it’s already been optioned for the movies. It’s written by Mark Millar, who followed a spectacular 12-issue run on “The Authority” early in the decade by creating “The Ultimates,” “Ultimate Fantastic Four” and “Wanted.”

Millar is also writing maybe the best run of “Fantastic Four” (he started with issue 554) since Stan Lee left the book 900 years ago. It deals with what happens when Reed Richards’ hot supergenius college girlfriend starts re-creating the universe in another dimension. Buy these immediately.

Grant Morrison is hard at work on his Eisner-winning “All-Star Superman,” which I judge to be the best set of Clark Kent stories since Alan Moore slammed shut the book on Earth One’s Man of Steel in 1986. Only 10 issues of this all-star title have seen print since the series began in 2005, but they’re well worth the wait, full as they are of sparkly new takes on well-worn characters and situations. Issue 10, which hit shelves last week, is very sad, dealing with a dying Superman trying to take care of a lot of unfinished business. Artist Frank Quitely’s Lois Lane is an insanely sexy wench.

Morrison is the guy who oversaw the spectacular launch of “JLA” starring Plastic Man in 1997 and the equally spectacular “New X-Men” starring Emma Frost’s Cuckoos back in 2001. He has also served as the regular writer on the monthly “Batman” funnybook since since 655, and I candidly can’t remember the last time I so looked forward to new issues of that decrepit old DC warhorse.

Ultimates vets Bruce “The Hulk” Banner and Tony “Iron Man” Stark take on a big-brained British bureaucrat hot for their sci-fi DNA “stacks” in “Ultimate Human.” This is my favorite current thing from the amazing Warren Ellis, who created the greatness that is “The Authority,” “Planetary,” “Global Frequency,” “Orbiter,” “Ministry of Space,” “Jack Cross,” “Strange Killings,” “JLA: New Maps of Hell,” “Iron Man: Extremis,” and “newuniversal” as well as the upcoming continuation of “Astonishing X-Men,” among many many other things.

A 14-year-old Jim Shooter saw his first “Legion of Super-Heroes”

story published in 1966. He retired from the title in the 1970s, became a big-deal editor at Marvel for almost a decade, and he’s been away from the big comic-book companies for years. When he was hired at age 56 to return to “Legion” late last year, it smelled like the most gimmicky of lame gimmicky gimmicks. But Shooter is writing a funny, touching, character-rich, very not-‘70s 21st-century version of the one of my favorite titles – and it is somehow not hideously out of place against all the great Morrison, Ellis, Millar and Whedon comics we’ve been reading. I’m a little weirded-out at how much I enjoyed the launch of the “Enemy Rising” storyline and the way it focused on Lightning Lad Garth Ranzz and his surprisingly evolved management techniques and his frying of the HQ’s lightning-proof targets. It’s so good I forgot to miss Supergirl, who bolted the team just before Shooter came aboard. Start with the latest, issue 40, and see if it doesn’t leave you craving more.

I also continue to advise you, funnybook-wise, to seek out old copies of Jaime Hernandez’ “Love & Rockets,” Paul Chadwick’s “Concrete” and Adrian Tomine’s “Optic Nerve.”

$35.49 PER SEASON!!!!