Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

Normally I’d at least throw in a few paragraph breaks, but I like the way this guy’s one solid paragraph sort of imparts his enthusiasm for the entire experience. Like he just couldn’t wait to tell us.

And I love his nickname. Made me laugh. Because I am evidently thirteen years old.

Check it out:

Hey there fellow geeks, Ah, January and once again there is actually a cool reason to live in Salt Lake City. Every year I try to hit up a movie or two from the Sundance festival, and this year I saw a couple of pretty good ones. So let us get right into it. First, I caught a screening of George A Romero's Diary of the Dead. It would be impossible to not want to think it's Cloverfield with zombies, but really DOTD has very little in common with Cloverfield other than the cameraman constantly saying things like "I'm just going to keep on filming so someone can see what REALLY happened". The plot is pretty simple with Diary of the Dead, some students are making a movie for their class at Pitt University, and the zombie apocalypse goes down. Well, most of the crew wants to find their loved ones and they start off in a RV to do so. From there everything goes down the crapper. But do you care about the story or the kills. Before the movie started, I said to my brother who went with me, "As long as there are three good zombie kills, then I'll be happy." Well, there are more than three and I don't want to spoil any of them, but let me say this: Amish zombie warriors should be in every zombie movie ever made from now on. As a hu! ge hater of Romero's Land of the Dead, which I looked forward to from conception, I was wary that he would continue on his downward trajectory. Well, fellow haters, I would say that Diary of the Dead is a huge step up from Land of the Dead. Going back to a smaller budget and a smaller story was a wise choice, and I say that I would gladly pay to see the sequel. And now for something completely different, Hamlet 2. I bought my tickets for this one well before it's large payday, and it was on the strength of one Mr. Steve Coogan. I've been a fan since 24 Hour Party People and enjoyed his funny parody of himself in both Coffee and Cigarettes and Tristram Shandy. Mr. Coogan, I must say, pretty much rules in Hamlet 2. His American accent is goofy and his haircut is almost as lame as Javier Bardems, but hopefully he will break out in the USA with this role. He plays a failed commercial actor named Dana Marschz who now teaches drama in Tuscon, AZ. He writes plays based on recent films (Max Fisher would be jealous of his "Erin Brockovich".) After getting a much larger class because of budget cuts, then finding out his own class will be part of the same budget cuts next semester, he decides to write his own original work, "Hamlet 2". With a time traveling Hamlet trying to fix all the stuff that happened in the original, his play end! s up turning into quite the controversy. Once again, I don't really want to spoil too much, but my sides ached as they put on the play and did their musical numbers, including the awesome "Hard Rockin Sexy Jesus"(this may not be the exact name, but I was laughing too hard to remember it perfectly). Most of the performances in the flick are strong, including Catherine Keener as Dana's wife and Elisabeth Shue as herself. SNL's Amy Poehler pretty much steals every scene she's in as an ACLU lawyer who is helping Dana make sure his play is seen. The kids in the drama class are pretty good as well, but Phoebe Strole is a stand-out as the drama nerd/racist. Anyway, I would say if you are a fan of Coogan's or like strange, quirky comedies about social freaks, check this one out when it's released. Thanks fellas, and if you use this, call me taintyourwagon.