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Frank Tj Mackey loathes PITCH BLACK

Hey folks, Harry here. Now, I've had some people claim that I'm being 'well paid' to like PITCH BLACK, just a note... I seem to be the only entertainment news website without ads for the movie up above... You see, I can go point for point on this particular scathingly negative review and apply every single criticism towards ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK. But you know what, I feel that this movie is just trying to have fun, and I let it happen.

Harry,

Sorry to have to disagree with you about a movie, but I just got back from seeing a "sneak preview" of Pitch Black up here in Oklahoma, and boy . . . whatever. I don't think that there is anything special in this movie that hasn't already been shown in a made for cable movie. Cliche plot. Cliche characters that don't really do anything to move beyond their sci-fi stereotype (token black character, token female heroine, token kid who wants to be tough, token criminal who the audience is supposed to root for).

First of all, the acting. BAD. Now, that's not really suprising cosidering the genre, the no-names, etc. But, some of the people on this site quote this Van Disel guy like he's the second coming of Bruce Campbell or something. WRONGO DONGO. He is annoying and not tough. His "one-liners" are stupid and fall flat. There are no "I'll Be Back's" or "Yippy Kay-Yay Motherfuckers" , they are just dumb lines. And some of his confrontations with the "aliens" are downright hilarious in the most "yeah right" of ways.

The writing in the film was just plain wack and inconsistant. For example, in the begining of the film, whenever something BIG has gone down to make these characters swear, they use "Bloody Hell" and another English slang phrases a couple of times. But, from the middle onwards, they revert back to using basic swearing like "shit", "fuck" and "asshole". Why make big deals out of using those phrases and trying to set up some kind of "off-talk-slang" thing in your movie, if your'e not going to sustain it for the whole film? That just makes the film look uneven.

(spoiler maybe?) The story also didn't make sense when the people thought that the world was going to stay dark forever. If it was . . . how were the writers supposed to explain the team that was there before theme, and how it was bright and sunny when they landed on that planet? (spoiler over)

I think the basic things that should make these type of movies work, is the caring for the characters...and to tell you the truth, I didn't care AT ALL about these characters. I didn't even care enough to watch these people die. I was so bored in the movie that I wanted the film just to end or the theater to stop showing it. I didn't care if the people made it to their ship, or if the "monsters" got them or whatever.

To break it down, I just don't think this movie had anything in it that would differentiate it from any other standard claustrophobic "alien" type movies. There were no clever lines. No interesting subplot (any subplot that was in this movie really didn't seem to matter seeing as the writers only glanced over it a couple times). No characters that I cared for. Not even any nudity to give any of us a bit of a Supernova break!

Now, I'm writing this, not to dis you Harry, but to help warn fellow film geeks that visit your site that may be like me. I wouldn't want anyone rushing out and wasting their 2 hours without hearing a point of view from a guy who thought the movie was horrible. We like to think that because I also hate pecan pie that this is just merely a coincidence. These kind of things happen all the time . . .

you can call me,

Frank TJ Mackey

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