Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
You’ve been a busy monkey, haven’t you? Glad to see you back at it, SDM, and I’ll admit... I’m curious about RED EYE. It looks better than the Jodie Foster film, PANIC PLANE, which I saw the trailer for this weekend. I’m sure I’ll end up seeing both of them eventually, but for now, let’s see what you thought of Wes Craven’s latest:
So, Harry, I get home today and am rather pleased to see that my Fun With Dick and Jane review got posted. But, to clarify once more, I am NOT a plant. The closest to proof I can offer is my live journal (nc_seventeen). For those of you who know how to use LJ you can find it. Feel free to cut this if you don't want plugs or whatever.
Now onto the review; I recently... ok a couple months ago... saw Wes Cravens new one "RED EYE".
RED EYE is like an episode of "Alfred Hitchcock presents" and it could easily have been cut down to fit a 1 hour TV show. The film is 79 minutes without end credits and the real plot doesn't even start up until 45 minutes in. (I know, I checked my watch)
I went in knowing absolutely nothing about the film. The title wasn't even on the invitation. I didn't know Craven was involved until the opening credits. I couldn't identify either of the stars. I went into this thing colder than I nuclear winter. All I knew was it was 'a new thriller from a major studio' and that it was PG-13ish.
The flick starts with a slow burn of sorts. Mcadams (who is infinitely cuter as a redhead, even if I get the distinct impression that her dimples could eat me alive. Seriously, those things are gonna become sentient soon and then we're in for some Sky-net style shit) plays a high powered…hotel clerk. Apparently being a concierge is THE WORLDS MOST STRESSFUL JOB!!! She's at wits end and no one except her can do the complex process of…you know, checking in guests. Don't get me wrong, I don't envy the job, I'm sure it's a bitch, but I just don't see how she could take her work home.
Anyway, you know she's a nice girl because she treats a cabbie with respect and gives him a tip even though she's running late. Luckily, so is her plane. She sticks up for a harassed desk clerk and Cillian Murphy backs her up. They flirt and things seem promising. The dialogue is cute and fairly well written. But of course you know Murphy is evil because…well motha'-fucka' looks CREEPY! You know it immediately if you've ever seen another thriller, just like you know Mcadams has a dark secret too…but more on that later.
Murphy and Mcadams sit next to eachother on the plane. They flirt more and then he reveals deep dark secret # 1 of the film. If the movie were more clever, they would have joined the mile high club then during pillow talk he would have casually dropped that he was prepared to murder her father…but alas, a PG-13 means no sexual mind games.
Brian Cox plays the endangered dad. He's dead unless Mcadams does the unthinkable…change a guests reservations from one side of a hotel to the other! Im not kidding, that's the hook.
What follows is Mcadams desperately trying to alert passengers and crew to Murphy's nefarious reservation altering plans. It works, but should have gone on much longer. This is only 20 minutes of the film, tops. For about 10 minutes during the middle of the film, I thought there was a real mindfuck in store. See, Mcadams has a big ol' scar on her chest. (above the bra of course). I thought maybe her dark secret was that she was a werewolf or monster or something. but sadly, no dice, nothing supernatural happens in the film. Just good old crazy action thriller unreality.
Dark secret #2 is revealed as the plane lands and then the film becomes die hard in a car. With guns, stabbings, guys getting shot more times than Jason could survive and still getting up, political intrigue…and a bazooka. Yes, the plan involves room changes and a bazooka.
By this point, any sense of reality in the film had melted away and I was laughing so hard I was tearing, and I wasn't alone in this. The movie has a rigid three act structure. Act 1 is a romantic comedy, then it 180's into act two which is a Hitchcock knock off thriller, then hurtles into act three which pulls another 270 (a 180 would make it a romantic comedy again) and becomes an 80's style action film. It's all bizarre and surreal, but its also very entertaining.
One or two more 'dark secrets' are revealed, lotsa people die, and shit blows up real good (probably to justify its summer release date) all of which leads up to a denoument that means absolutely nothing.
The thing about this movie is, it's shit. It only really works in the context that I saw it in, knowing nothing, and the trailers have already ruined that. Even then, it only works because of its bizarre audacity. The audience seemed to like it though, and you could do worse for a date film. Still, none of it makes any cognoscente sense, even during the first viewing. All the same, it's never boring and it does at least try to be something original, so ill give it credit for that.
5/10 as a film
7/10 for pure entertainment value.
-sonic death monkey
Huh. I hear the second trailer for the film pretty much ruined every twist, so I’ve avoided seeing it. Thanks, as always, for the review.
"Moriarty" out.
