HOUSE OF WAX remake review

Sometimes you just have to watch someone die on screen, this is the case for Paris Hilton. Having said that - her death is way too easy in HOUSE OF WAX. This is Harry with my look at the remake of HOUSE OF WAX.

The first 5 hours of the film ( real running time: 40 minutes) is excruciatingly awful shit unworthy of even the slightest raised eyebrow. Filled mostly with oh so cute pokes at the Paris Hilton video that's online everywhere. Cuz - let's face it folks that's why we know her name. And if she's as cold a fuck as that video revealed - how on Earth do you expect her to even pretend or emote anything in reality. There's nothing going on in her character's head. And after the 5th or 6th Paris Hilton video in-joke - walking out of the theater became a viable and urgent calling.

Literally - the first part of this movie is that bad.

Then they arrive at the House of Wax - and the film becomes mildly diverting. There's a neat twist on the whole Wax Museum horror genre. And once things begin to be revealed the film becomes a fun piece of shit. And the last act in the House of Wax in particular is why I'll eventually buy this film second hand on DVD. The last part in that House feels like it was storyboarded and conceived by Robert Zemeckis (one of the producers) as it is visually inventive, exciting and fun. COMPLETELY out of place with the rest of the movie.

Also within the genre of Wax Horror films - this does the best job of showing you the actual tools of the trade. Having said that it really is a subpar film in keeping with the rest of the DARK CASTLE production label.

There's a couple of great gags, but overall you don't really care for anybody, the music is mainly tedious and the acting is universally forgetable. If, like me, you love the Wax Horror genre - check it out, cuz the ending should be enough to sate your wax horror dreams. But, it's like running up a mountain to dive into a dumpster of shit to get the tall blue suited Snaggle-toothed action figure. Best to wait for DVD - where you can just skip right to the cool parts - though - that end sequence on the big screen is pretty cool. You just are not invested in the characters, so it's just a really cool visual effects piece with no substance whatsoever.

That's pretty much all I can say about the film. When the sets burned down, the studio should have taken the hint.